It’s still the case that humans want to keep propagating the species, thank goodness. But what humans — especially the women who have done all the work to get the species propagated — quickly find out is that pregnancy can turn a beautifully clothed female into a frump if she’s not careful. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you have to be frumpy, though, because high style is still possible, fortunately.

Guys are really advised to think on things for a few minutes. They should put down the Three Stooges DVD collection and think about how something as elegant as possible is today available even in maternity wear. Certainly, a woman will need a self-image boost after finding that Vera Wang has deserted her during her hour of need (and nine months of pregnancy).

Pregnancy and women go together, of course, and that’s a good thing. But pregnancy can do things to a woman’s body that may have her crying in frustration and even rage, which she’ll soon take out on the man who made her that way, so all guys should understand that they’re under great peril if they don’t quickly learn that they need to be helping a woman and her pregnancy along.

That’s where taking the mother-to-be by the hand and going with her while she looks for good-looking things to wear while being pregnant is crucial. After all, getting hit in the head with a television remote, after putting her in the state she’s in and then refusing to help her find a few pieces of clothing that’ll help her look good, isn’t where most men should want to be.

So then; find out just how much she’s been wanting that very expensive pair of leather brown boots and then worked like a beast of burden to get the money to get them for her. Of course, realize that at least 400 or so shoe stores are going to need to be visited, but go with her in the spirit of humble contrition that will be required because she’s been put in her position by men.

Once she’s found the right pair of boots, slip away for a few minutes — taking care to avoid the electronics store where that new big-screen TV is on display — and maybe buy her something nice to go with those boots, perhaps a matching leather watch strap. It’s certainly an easy way to get out of the doghouse that has been like a second home since she became pregnant, correct?

There’s really no great and obscure secret to a man helping his lady get through her pregnancy and the thought of possibly becoming frumpy because of it. Bow down before her — especially in gratitude that she’s agreed to become so pregnant — and admit to her that her wisdom is without compare and all should be right in the universe, once that doghouse has been cleaned out, of course.

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